What is your dream?

The kids and I came across an article of a woman fulfilling her dreams after so many years.  I read to the kids and tried to drive a point.  What I was not expecting was my son’s question, “So mom, what is your dream?” I was not able to answer such a candid comment.  It actually made me think and trace back what was my dream.

As a child, I do not remember saying “when I grow up I want to be…”  I went through grade school and high school oddly unsure of what I really want in life.  I just remember seeing stuff that I like and wonder it will be cool if I can do this or if I will be like her/him.  I remember I wished I can ice skate or I can play a musical instrument.  I wished I can dance gracefully or sing majestically.  I wished I was a movie actress or a person who really knows martial arts.  Well, maybe that explains why my kids took piano lessons, ice skating and karate lessons.  Goodness!

I went through college unsure of what course I should take so I took two of the most vague courses in college -Communication Arts and Business Management.  Why two? Simply because I don’t know what I want to do in life.  Halfway through college, I figured I don’t want to have a career in Communication Arts.  I relied on my Business Management degree for the sake of getting a job.

As I grow older, my dreams turned to wishing the more practical stuff- money.  I wished I had a cool car.  I wished I can shop without worrying about any budget. I wished I can travel around the world.  I wished and wished.  This wishful thinking also went kaput because Iife happened.

I had jobs but I haven’t been to one that I really worked for many years.  The longest was 2 years.  I think it has to do with just being unsure of what you want.  I simply got a job to sustain me (whatever it was) and realized early on it was too boring, it was too simple, it was too tiring, or it was too hard.

With all that uncertainty, I had this nagging feeling that I will do something big.  I somehow had this sense that I am going to do something that will change the world.  I know its crazy.  I still have these thoughts.   I just don’t know how it looks like. I am obviously not involved in any government activities.  I do not have a special skill that will catapult me to do any world tour.

Then I looked at my kids.  All this time I have been teaching them to be leaders using their own talents.  They are the future leaders of the next generation. Four of them in my living room.  Everyday I get to teach them how they can be a light in a dark world with the grace of God.  When I look at them, I know what changing the world looks like.  Changing the world is loving them unconditionally and guiding them what they want in life.  Changing the world is deliberately raising confident kids, who passionately love their Maker and who uphold whatever is noble and true.

I know now that big thing I need to do.  It is so big that it is beyond my lifetime.  It needs to be passed on to the next generation.  The legacy of producing a group of people fearlessly serving God.  A group of people who equates every success according to the approval of their Maker.

Currently, I am teaching Social Studies to 4th, 5th and 6th graders.  That’s another “changing the world” opportunity for me. After three decades, I never knew teaching kids is what I like to do.  I vaguely remember playing teacher with my sister.  Of course, I was always the teacher and she was always the student.  I like to teach. I just discovered this at 42 years old.

So if you are reading this and you are clueless on what you want to do in life, don’t worry it will come to you.  Yes, you will have some trial and error but you will know someday.  It is totally okay if you don’t have any answer to this question.  It is also okay if nothing is happening.  If that dream is birthed by God, it will surely happen. 🙂